“If you want to, I could help you with that.” I said as I was trying to help him with something but he kept saying “No.” My nephew – a 5 year old was attempting to do squeeze cheese out of its pack on his own but was failing miserably – that was until his mother had to force her way to help him because he kept saying No to help – when we all knew he needed help.
I am awake at 5:39 in the morning, eating breakfast in a diner across the building where I live trying my hardest to not go back to my bed to sleep since dawn. I was awake since 2:00 am battling the lust demons that were attacking me at night. It had been bad lately, they even kept me from going to church last Sunday by holding me down. I need prayers. I’m schizophrenic but I’m not that insane to not know anymore that I am being attacked by them. I always asked for prayers about the attacks but I don’t know where to start or if the prayer requests I made where age appropriate.
Anyway I’ve realized that in this life, you can’t, as a book I once read said, when it comes to fighting battles, especially against lust – and these are demons that I’m fighting against, you can’t be a lone ranger. You need friends to ask prayers from and become your accountability partners, and you need advice from elders and counselors and leaders.
I see my nephew in me squeezing cheese miserably for the past few months unwilling to take in prayers or help for my situation, expecting to get help without me crying out for it. Now, I’m thinking, “Do you think all the people you meet are prophetic?” Well I was hoping they were but now I realize, unless you cry out for help, they can’t read your mind. If even God can’t help the proud, how can his people help me when I’m being silently prideful with my pretense of being together, when I really am not?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not all broken up or depressed by the attack – I don’t let it stop me from living or facing the day – but there is the fact of it – it’s a battle that I kept failing miserably at. So if you’re reading this Daughter of the King, please do pray for me too. I need help too.
But now that I’ve said it out loud, let me encourage you to cry out for help when you need to. Don’t keep your problems locked inside you when your heart inside you is ready to burst because we as children of God should and will be able to help each other especially in prayers. When we come to God together in agreement, will He not hear us?
Let go of that silent pride that’s creeping in your heart, and get grace for being humble enough to say, “I need help, please pray for me.”.